Oh, hypothetical future child, how I worry about you

Sometimes I worry about what I would be like as a parent. I do think I want a child someday. But the thing about kids is that while they can sometimes be surprisingly profound, the vast majority of the time they’re idiots. And it’s your responsibility as a parent to make them less of an idiot by the time they’re old enough to do things on their own. I wonder if I would have the patience required, if I would like the kid enough to teach it all the time. Of course I’d love my child, love would be hardwired into my brain, but kids can be so enormously annoying…

I also worry about feeding the kid well, considering how terrible I am at eating healthy myself. Having the care of an extra tiny human be entirely your responsibility all the time is a scary thought. I’ve babysat my cousins a lot when they were little, and I was good at it. But having written instructions from their parents on how to feed them and at which times is very different from being that authority yourself 24/7.

Still, a lot of people manage to be pretty okay parents, I guess I’ll probably be fine if I become one myself. It’s also generally a two-person job.


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