“Not everyone meets someone they love so much they want to give up on the things that make them hard to love in return.”
Finding someone to share your life with is not a priority for everyone. And even if it is, who says there is a soulmate for everyone? All these grand romantic ideals, how realistic are they? The best would be finding someone who loves all of you, even the bits that are bad at communicating and anoying. And to love that person just the same way. But how often does that happen? How many of us are trying to change some aspect of themselves to be suitable for a lover? Or try and want something they don’t really want out of live just to stay with someone?
And is it a realistic thing to compromise on fundamental things or is it better to hold out for the ideal? Maybe sometimes you’re better off on your own. Figure out who you are and what you want before adding an other person to the mix.
“The room was much as I remembered it, or looked as if it was as I remembered, for memories are always eager to match themselves seamlessly to the things and places of a revisited past.” – Max in The Sea by John Banville
Sometimes I really dislike Max, the narrator of The Sea. The way he describes some women rubs me the wrong way and he can be pompous in his descriptions of locations and feelings. But then suddenly he comes up with a beautiful observation like the quote above. He is a man looking back at his live because he sees very little of it if he tries to look ahead and this leads to an interesting perspective on youth, adulthood, and memories.
The Sea is because of the long sentences not a quick read. I’ve started and finished other books while reading it, but I am having the urge to sometimes write a blogpost like this one (and the last one) because of something I’ve read in The Sea. So while it is taking me a long time to read this book, it’s giving me thoughts, and that is always a good sign.